I’m Jon Jordan for Scobelli’s. You might be asking yourself “Who is this guy? I’ve never heard of him”. Of course you haven’t, that’s how good I am. Have you ever seen “The Good the Bad, and the Ugly?”, The Men in Black Series?, The Godfather? Of course you have, so then you have seen me play Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, and Marlon Brando in these movies, just to name a few. More recently, I played the Hulk in the new Marvel movies, let me tell you, nothing helps you bulk up into the hulk like eating at Scobelli’s. Joss Wheden wanted to use CGI, but I convinced him I could make the look with Scobelli’s fabulous menu. Didn’t I look good? Don’t answer that, the answer is yes. I have 76 Academy Awards, and am on a first name basis with everyone more important than you.
In addition to my successful career in Hollywood, I also hold Nobel Prizes in Peace, Physics, Literature, Chemistry, and Medicine. Twice. Some you might have heard of, some you may not of, I went by many names during my stints in philanthropy. You might know me better as Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., or Mother Theresa, just to name a few. I’ve forgotten more than you’ll ever know. How do I know that? Because I am just that smart.
So what’s the secret to my success? I eat at Scobelli’s. And so should you. Why should you? Because I said to eat there, and if you can’t trust a 10-time Nobel prize winner, who can you trust? I couldn’t have played for 19 seasons and throw for close to 72,000 yards or founded the Ford Motor Company if it weren’t for Scobelli’s. So unless you have a crippling fear of success, fame, brains, and good looks, then you should get to Scobelli’s now.